Have you ever heard of the “Marshmallow Test”? It’s a famous psychology experiment where a child is asked to choose between eating one marshmallow right now or waiting to receive two later. For a long time, it’s been hailed as a predictor of success—the ability to control immediate impulses for a greater future reward.

But as I stand here in my forties, I find myself looking at this test through a different lens.

1. Are we chasing instant gratification? Our modern world constantly demands “now.” Instant likes on social media, immediate career milestones, fast results. We often find ourselves rushing to “eat our marshmallow” as quickly as possible, feeling anxious and breathless because we’re constantly comparing our speed to others.

2. Growing from seed is different from waiting I spend my days growing flowers from seeds. When you plant a seed, you have to wait. You gaze at the empty soil, day after day, not knowing exactly when the sprout will appear. It takes courage to wait. But flowers grown from seed are different—they are more precious, more resilient, and carry a beauty that is entirely their own. This isn’t about the “patience” of the Marshmallow Test; it’s about the joy of nurturing a process.

3. Choosing your own “Ikigai” In our forties, we don’t need to rush. Choosing not to jump at the first “marshmallow” of instant success, but instead taking the time to nurture your own “Ibasho” (a place where you truly belong), is a luxury.

If you feel anxious today, I invite you to pause. Forget about the quick rewards for a moment. Ask yourself: what kind of flower do I really want to bloom? Giving yourself that time to nurture your own life is the greatest act of self-love.

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