Lately, I’ve been receiving a very specific, deeply heartfelt question from many readers in their late 20s and early 30s:
“There is someone with perfect ‘conditions’ on paper, but I just can’t bring myself to love them.” “On the flip side, there is someone I love deeply, but their practical conditions aren’t ideal.” “When thinking about marriage, is it always better to choose the practical option for a happy life?”
Logic versus emotion. It’s a massive crossroads in life, so it is entirely natural to feel torn.
To give you my conclusion upfront: “Both choices can be the correct answer.” Let’s unpack this dilemma using a bit of psychological insight to clear the fog in your mind.
💔 1. You Cannot Force Your Heart (The Power of Love)
First and foremost, feelings are not something you can force.
No matter how flawless someone’s background or income is, if your heart doesn’t move, that is your genuine truth. In marriage, unexpected challenges and trials will always arise. When those storms hit, if there is no foundational “love,” it can be incredibly difficult to overcome them. Love serves as the vital emotional energy required to break through life’s hard moments.
💰 2. However, “Love is All We Need” is a Fantasy (The Power of Reality)
At the same time, declaring that “finances don’t matter as long as we have love” is a bit risky. We need economic stability to sustain daily life. Financial stress is one of the leading causes that can slowly erode even the deepest love.
In reality, whichever path you choose, “there will be moments of pure happiness, and there will be moments of hardship.” That is the true nature of marriage.
🌟 3. The Momo Method: The “6 Rules” and the “30% Effort”
So, how should we choose a partner? My philosophy is simple: “Don’t wait around for someone to make you happy. Instead, build a mindset of creating happiness together.”
To do this, I recommend setting up a checklist of “6 Criteria” to organize your thoughts:
- 3 Non-negotiable traits you absolutely need in a partner.
- 3 Deal-breakers where you say, “If they do this, I absolutely cannot endure it.”
If a person fits within these parameters, they pass the test. The truth is, a 100% flawless soulmate who matches you perfectly from day one does not exist. Over time, flaws will surface on both sides—and that’s completely mutual.
If these “6 criteria” are met, you can assume that about 70% of your marriage will be deeply satisfying. The remaining 30% comes down to the mutual effort you both pour into communicating openly, compromising, and growing together.
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