We deliberately swap out the word surume (dried squid) for atarime, and we carefully avoid words like “separate” or “cut” at wedding receptions.

When international students studying Japanese see this, they often ask me with genuine curiosity, “Why do you care so much about that?”

This culture of reframing our language, which we practice so naturally, stems from a deeply rooted belief in Kotodama (the spirit of words) and a profound kindness that seeks to protect the feelings of others.

1. The Sense That Words Summon Reality

Since ancient times, Japan has held the philosophy of Kotodama—the belief that the words we utter carry a spiritual power that can manifest into actual reality.

That is why, during celebrations or in front of those we hold dear, we consciously avoid words that evoke a sense of misfortune. These are known as Imi-kotoba (taboo or avoided words).

• Instead of owaru (to end), we say o-hiraki ni suru (to unfold/open up).
• Instead of nashi (pear, which sounds exactly like “nothingness”), we call it ari-no-mi (the fruit of existence).
• Instead of taoreru (to collapse), we might soften it to korobu (to tumble).

This is far more than mere old superstition or a simple comfort. I see it as a form of “spatial design”—a collective wisdom used to fill the time and space (Ibasho) right before our eyes with something beautiful and comforting.

2. The Aesthetics of the “Cushion”: Avoiding Naked Expressions

This beautifully connects to the “high-context culture” (the art of not saying everything) we discussed in a previous post. The Japanese language inherently resists expressions that are too blunt or direct.

Avoiding Imi-kotoba means placing a gentle cushion—a soft margin—between ourselves and the world, ensuring we don’t project raw anxieties or harsh realities directly onto someone else. Because we understand the immense power of words, we choose to take the scenic route, shifting our language to more beautiful resonances so that another person’s heart won’t feel even a tiny prick of pain.

3. The Act of Rechoosing Our Words

When we fall ill or experience moments of vulnerability in our daily lives (much like when I suffered from a terrible stomachache yesterday, haha), that is precisely when we unconsciously begin selecting gentler words to shield one another.

Rather than clashing with “perfect words” or rigid logic, we choose to take a step back, thoughtfully curating our language while wishing for the other person’s happiness.

This uniquely Japanese art of “linguistic subtraction” is something I want to keep spinning beautifully—both in my journey as a Japanese teacher and within the quiet rhythms of my daily life (Crafts).

May the words you exchange today be filled with many gentle and comforting Kotodama.

#Ibasho #Kotodama #ImiKotoba #JapaneseCulture #JapaneseLanguageTeacher #Mindfulness #SlowLiving #DeepJapan #LanguageAesthetics #Crafts #Japaneselifestyle